Clifford-Brown10.jpgClifford Brown is my all-time favortite jazz trumpet player. If you’ve never heard Clifford Brown, I suggest you check him out. He played quite a bit with Max Roach and they had a similar approach to music and the art of jazz. While Max Roach lived out a full and complete life until he died in 2007 at the age of 83, Clibbord Brown’s life was tragically cut short at age 25 in 1956. Even so, Clifford Brown’s influence on jazz music and especially the hard bop genre he helped to create cannot be overestimated.

What I have always been impressed with in Clifford Brown’s music is the way that he moves through the intensive chord changes that are such a part of hard bop music with such intention and fluidity. He bounces through the changes and remains nimble and is able to speak with full musical sentences at a time when a lot of hard bop was speaking with incomplete phrases and short bursts of musical speech. Listen to a piece like “Joy Spring” and you can hear the way that he flawlessly moves through both chord and key changes with seeming ease. Even the 12-bar blues structure is transformed into something new and different in “Sandu”.

I have always marvelled at the way that certain people can embrace not just the idea of change, but the changes themselves. Clifford Brown was a leader in the move from bebop to hard bop and did it in his late teens and early 20’s. It’s an amazing thing to consider.



I’m not sure why I even have my own website. I never post to it. I hardly ever update it. No one really ever visits it. But I have one. I keep it updated so that I will have a place for my email. Because I own my own domain, I also own my own email. Yes, it needs to be hosted somewhere, but it is mine and can’t be taken away.

One of the other things that I have realized is that it also can’t outlive me by much.

Because my website and my email are owned (and controlled) by me, they can only survive if I pay the annual bills associated with it. That means that – at some point after I die – someone will either need to assume the billing or let the service simply be deleted.

There is something oddly comforting about that.

I am a pastor and a person that has been preaching sustainability in both my personal and professional lives for quite some time now. I believe that the idea of true sustainability goes against our human nature as we simply cannot think on such grand terms as sustaining something forever. Even when we think about time and space, we talk about the “beginning of the universe” or the “end of time”. True sustainability is outside of our comprehension. (And, to be honest, I also believe that the place where we should be concentrating our efforts at sustainability is in the present moment – not in some future that has yet to be created.)

So, when I consider sustainability in terms that we can understand, it comes down to leaving as little a footprint as possible. Sustainability has something to do with burdening others. The less we burden others with the choices that we make, the more sustainable that choice, activity, or structure will be.

Think about it —

Right now as a church, we are using countless dollars and human resources to sustain buildings and structures that do not fit the needs of today. But anything that we attempt to build in any permanent way will only lead to future generations looking back at us and asking the same questions that we are asking of the generations that preceded us. Building structures and systems that are flexible and possibly even temporary will allow future users the options necessary to meet the needs of their time.

Or —

If I purchase a house, car, plot of land, or anything else that outpaces my true needs now or in the immediate future, then I will spend a lot of my time and resources (physical, emotional, and spiritual) attempting to keep that thing going. For instance, if my car payment and cost of upkeep costs me 20% of what I make in a month, then I am spending one out of every five hours working to simply sustain my ability to get to and from work. We build entire buildings simply to house the things that we use to travel from place to place. That’s not a sustainable model.

We have made the world so complex that we have decided that it requires at least 12 years of formal schooling to simply exist in our manmade culture. Formal schooling doesn’t teach us anything (or very few things) that would help us if we were to be left alone in the wilderness. Most everything that we are taught simply helps us to navigate the institutions that we have created.

There is so much more to say, and I may even start to use this space to say it.

And if I do, I know that eventually my words will eventually be erased… because they simply don’t matter that much… and because eventually, no one will pay the bill.

The Rings

We were able to put our rings back on because all Mainers now have the freedom to marry!


Hi all. This is kind of a weird post because it is more of an email with a video. I have been asked to film one of my services at OOB UMC and send it to the Tri-State District Committee on Ministry. I did all of that except for one small point, I didn’t put it in the mail.

So… I have pulled the “sermon” out of the service and uploaded it to YouTube. Here it is:

Sermon from December 12, 2010

I have also uploaded the bulletin from that day. It can be found at this link – Bulletin from December 12, 2010.

Sorry for the delay. And if you aren’t on dCOM, let me know what you think. (I’ll be hearing from dCOM soon enough…)


Dog meets gerbil.

Summer is Over

Now that summer is fully over here in OOB (meaning – after Columbus Day), it’s time to get back to life in the off season. Bekah and Caleb are now both in high school. Izzie has started her first year of nursery school. Robyn is taking another year off – but is planning to go back in a year or two to finish her bachelor’s degree.

And me? I am back in school, too. This time, I am going to Southern Maine Community College and will be studying for my associate’s degree in business administration. I have only one class this semester, Structured Programming. I will be hopefully be learning how to do some programming in java. It should be a lot of fun.

One difficult development since the beginning of September is that Robyn has had some complications with some minor surgery she had. She has been out of work for more than 6 weeks now and has been on medication to control the pain. It has been difficult. Hopefully we’ll get some answers as to what is happening soon and life will get back to some sense of normal.

Normal is, of course, a relative term.

Right now, normal would mean training our new puppy, Ellie. It would also mean continuing to rip out carpet in our home. Normal, it seems, is a lot of work.

I think I am looking forward to summer all ready.

I haven’t actually written a real post in – ahhh – well over two years.  That’s not good, and it needs to be rectified.

What has life been like? Way too much to say on that subject. But it has been a kick.

Let’s see… Izzie will be starting pre-school in a few weeks. Caleb will be a freshman. Bekah is finish driver’s education this week. (By the way, they are now living in Auburn.) Robyn is now a nurse. Oh, and I am going back to school.

We now have four cats, two gerbils, a bunch of fish, and a dog on the way.

We are also in the process of buying a house – this one – the parsonage.

So we’ve been busy.  Hence the lack of anything of any import going on to my website. I have been making the occasional snarky comment on Facebook, but that really doesn’t count now does it.

I guess I will post a bit more soon.

Final Thoughts

It’s Christmas Day and I’m still not sure I have totally figured it all out. At the Christmas Eve service last night, I commented that I really didn’t miss much of the Christmas traditions that I had skipped. I had bought a few gifts for Bekah and Caleb, but not much more than that. I certainly didn’t miss that. I had avoided Christmas music for the most part. I really didn’t miss that (though I do have to admit that I kind of missed performing Christmas music, but that’s a whole other story). I think what I missed most was having Bekah and Caleb around.

Robyn and I spent almost the whole day at home. (We ended up going to my in-laws for a little bit in the evening to drop off a couple of things.) It was a spectacular day. Izzie had some gifts to open, which we did after coffee and hot biscuits in the morning. For lunch, we ate fresh fruit and hot cocoa while we played Rummy. Honestly, we didn’t do much at all, but we did it together. It only could have been better if Bekah and Caleb were home with us.

But I think the greatest moment that I had and the one that celebrated Christmas most for me was after the Christmas Eve service. Before the service began, I was in the kitchen at the church preparing for the service. I planned on serving hot cocoa and cookies during the service as a treat and I was boiling water. As I sat there by myself, a knock came on the back door. I opened it to find one of the neighborhood boys standing there holding a pellet gun. He asked if it would be okay for him and his friends to use the church property to run around a little and have a game of “tag”. (He assured me that the pellets they were using to “tag” each other didn’t hurt and that there would be no damage to the church or the property. His yard was just too small to have any sort of fun.) I told him that we had a bunch of people coming for service at 7:00 and that it would be okay as long as they didn’t get in the way or scare anyone. With that, off he ran.

The service went off okay and I didn’t hear anything more from them until later. Once the service was over, there were just a few of us left in the sanctuary. I was talking with this last group as we all walked toward the doors to leave, when I saw the four boys from earlier come running up on the church steps wielding their weapons and yelling at one another. In a flash, they were gone again enjoying their time together. I said goodbye to my last group and turned to say something to my wife when the four boys came up on the porch again.

At this, I opened the front door of the church and yelled “Hey”! All four boys stopped and looked at me. Then the one that I had spoken to earlier dejectedly said, “Okay, we’ll get going”. At this, I stopped them all again and announced that we had leftover cookies and hot cocoa that needed to be used up and that they should come in and get some before I threw it away.

They stayed for an hour.

I think what I learned this year is that what is sorely missing for me is a true sense of community. Traditionally, Christmas has been about friends, family, and community. If you were to look at all of the hoopla surrounding Christmas today for evidence of its meaning, you’d think it was about gifts, copious amounts of decorations, food, and political correctness.

Even well-meaning Christians have gotten in the way. The meaning of Christmas has gotten lost, at times, in the story of Christmas. Some mix up the beginning of the story with the end of the story and spend far too much time looking at the miracle of Christ’s birth rather than understanding the magnitude of the fact that Christ was born at all. In other words, for some it is as important that Christ be born “without sin” (whatever that means) as it is that he was born at all. In other words, even Christ’s birth had everything to do with setting up his death.

Why can’t it be a simple story with a simple message? Christ was born! End of part one. What does the rest of the story tell us? We have tried so hard to attach such meaning to every part of Christ’s life. Maybe that is because we are all trying so hard to find meaning in our own.

I don’t know if this grand experiment that I’ve called my Swiss Christmas is going to have any long term repercussions. (My brother wished me a Merry Swiss-mas on Sunday.) It’s too early to tell. I don’t know what I’ll bring in to next year’s celebration, if anything. But I do know that something has changed inside of me. The search for meaning in the things that I do and that I ask others to do has only begun. And it will never end.

I’m only starting to realize the full extent of the radical message that Christ delivered that the Kingdom of God is at hand. It is here and it is now. And as I start to live that message out in my life even more, I hope I have more opportunities to encounter people in new and different ways whether that be in having hot cocoa and cookies during worship, or inviting kids in to enjoy them afterwards.

Secret Santas and Yankee Swaps

It’s Sunday morning and we are having a heck of a storm here in Maine. Most of the churches in the area have cancelled services, but I still walked over to the Church for anyone that may still show up. (It’s all of 100 feet away.) This morning, seven other people joined me in spite of the weather and we had a great discussion about our Christmas activities this year. It seems that there are at least a few of us that are going to be “observing”Christmas while not overtly “celebrating” it.

One of the things that characterizes this subtlety is the amount of stuff that is being bought. It is also one of the biggest questions that people have for me when I tell them about my “Swiss” Christmas. How am I going to avoid buying stuff for Christmas? The answer is that I am not. It just has to have some meaning to me.

Very early on as Robyn and I discussed our Christmas plans, we decided that we would not be getting gifts for anyone. Almost as soon as the words came out of my mouth, exceptions were being made. First, we found that some people had all ready bought gifts for us and the kids. We decided that accepting gifts was okay, as long as those giving the gifts understood that we weren’t taking part. Any gifts that could be returned should be. We then decided that Bekah and Caleb should get some gifts as they are older and have always gotten gifts at Christmas. Even so, they would not be getting as much as they have in years past (even including the Funtown passes). Izzie is too young, so she won’t be getting anything from us. (Don’t worry, though. I know that she will be getting plenty from her grandparents. She won’t miss out on anything.)

We then had to decide how to take part in the annual Yankee Swap at my mother’s house. If we were going to take part, we would need to purchase three gifts of not more that $10 each – one for each member of the family at the party. If we were to skip the Yankee Swap, would it go against our intentions and actually draw too much attention to our cause? Plus, was it possible that it might hurt feelings in the process of making our point? Besides, this activity is more of a party game than an actual exchanging of gifts. So the answer was “yes”, we would be able to take part in the Yankee Swap.

After making this momentous decision, Robyn then confessed to me that she had all ready signed up to be part of the “Secret Santa” gift exchange at her work. Okay. Well, that was a commitment she had made prior to our big decision, so it was all right. She could still be part of that because it was part more about team building in the workplace.

But you know, I still think I might do it differently next year.

One of the people at church this morning told me that she was concerned about some of the drastic changes that have been made at the church. To her, it is important that the church maintain a certain amount of tradition so that people can have something to count on. Tradition gives people a sense of normalcy and builds community. My response to her was to say that, in my experience, the word “tradition” has often been code for “we’ve always done it that way”. But her words have haunted me all day.

I have felt for some time that some pretty big things have to change in the world. Traditions in my life have lost their meaning for the most part. But I realize that not everyone feels the same way that I do now. I recently read somewhere that true change in the world doesn’t happen through the political process. Politicians are notorious for putting a finger in the air and swaying whichever way the wind blows. True change only occurs if we change the wind.

I know I’ve been blowing a lot of hot air lately, but not enough to affect the weather.

As for Robyn and I this Christmas, we have never really gotten things for each other. We usually get each other tickets for a show or a night out. In other words, our gift to each other is to experience something together. Because her birthday comes in January, I usually couple the two gifts together. One year, we went to the opera. Another year, I bought tickets to go see Nine Inch Nails. This year, I hadn’t planned on getting anything. But as luck would have it, an event came looking for me. I bought tickets to see the Blue Man Group on tour in February here in Portland. (We saw them in Boston on our honeymoon.) And when I was buying those tickets, I noticed that one of our favorite bands is coming to Worcester, MA the night before. So Robyn bought me tickets to see the Foo Fighters. That’s all. No more gifts for us.

I don’t know. Am I the right guy for all of this? Trying to guide people on this path toward the Kingdom of God is hard. It’s tiring. It’s stressful. It’s frustrating. It’s difficult.

But I think it will be worth it.

So This is How it Feels

I have tried to be neutral in honor of my “Swiss” Christmas this year, but it has been very difficult. It is amazing how many people make small talk this time of year by saying something along the lines of “so, are you all ready for Christmas?” At times, I’ve said something dismissive like “just about” and other times something philosophical like “are we ever REALLY ready for Christmas?” But there have been those times that I have been very honest with people and tried to explain this great experiment that Robyn and I are doing.

At this point, I usually get one of three reactions. The most common is the blank stare while it registers. This concept is very foreign to many people and so it knocks them backwards for a moment or two. If they are able to regain themselves enough to make a comment, it is usually something like “Wow! I don’t know how you’re going to be able to pull that off”. That’s a good safe thing to say. It is non-committal. With a comment like that, they don’t have to tell you what they really feel. And, to be truthful, they probably don’t really know how they feel at that moment. This reaction usually comes from those that haven’t given anything like a “Swiss” Christmas any thought at all.

The second reaction that I am likely to get is a moment of hesitation followed by a knowing smile. Some have even said that they were either doing something similar or were going to be having a greatly reduced Christmas celebration this year themselves. These are the people that acknowledge the fact that they have done too much in years past and need to reign in the craziness on some level. Some do it because the family has gotten too big. Others do it because they have a tighter budget. The ones that interest me most are the ones that do it because they haven’t found meaning in the celebration of Christmas (at least for awhile). I’ve been quietly surprised at just how many people there are in this category. I’ve even had some people breath a sigh of relief because even a pastor was going to be skipping Christmas.

The last reaction that I get is the one of astonishment, even disapproval. I’ve heard from more of these people than I thought I would. Or maybe they were just more vocal than others. Don’t get me wrong. They are well meaning and their horrified gasps come from a place of compassion and bewilderment. The most typical response I have heard from this group is one of worry for Elisabeth. (“What is Elisabeth going to do without a Christmas?”) I have tried to respond, though often unsuccessfully, that a fourteen month old child really doesn’t know what day it is anyways. But this seems to fall on mostly deaf ears. As I said, this group is very well meaning. I imagine that there reactions comes so poignantly because their love of Christmas is so strong. I think that this group of people doesn’t feel the same sense of sadness and melancholy that I feel toward Christmas.

Again, I am not having a “Swiss” Christmas because I am losing my faith. It is because this holiday has become something other than an exercise of my faith that I need to lose the holiday. Or at least allow it to gain its own new meaning.

As I spoke to someone the other day about all of this, we got ready to part company and prepared to say our goodbyes. We weren’t going to see each other for a few weeks and she turned to me and said, “Merry Christmas or, ah, I mean, Happy Holidays!” It’s funny how my reaction to Christmas this year can cause others to stumble. I wonder if that is how Jews, Muslims, and others have felt for all of these years as I have run around hollering “Merry Christmas” while they quietly celebrated Hanukah, or Ramadan, or Kwanza.

Please, keep celebrating Christmas as you always have. Don’t worry about me, Robyn, or any of the three kids. Make Christmas what you want it to be. We are doing the same. I can feel God moving richly in my life because of this experience, and I pray that you feel the same. If you don’t, maybe you’ll want to try something different next year…

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